Wedding

It is easy to complain about the infernal heat of the Indian plains; slimy skin, clothing crusted with salt, short tempers, long days and AC that died with the last power cut. But growing within this never ending sea of slow torture are the mangos. Carts piled high with ripe yellow and green happiness. I am sure that I could resist their charm if I tried but like the sirens of old they sing with a seductive music beyond anything found in the seven seas.

With the sharp blade of my Leather Man knife (a parting gift from my brother) and a news paper to separate me from the dripping pulp I sat to watch a billion lives swirl by me on the street. When my knife hit the green skin a fountain exploded over my hand and onto The Tribune's entertainment section with the headline There's no Hollywood invasion. The Black ink underneath my ever increasing mess read "In our films the rainstorms are rainier than real life; the wind machines are cranked up an extra notch; the close-ups linger longer than usual; the weddings and dancer numbers are extravagant and dazzling; the coincidences that drive the plot are numerous; and the jewellery heavier than anything you ever want to wear."

I desperately sucked at my oozing bit of mango in an attempt to keep it from dripping down my neck. Predictably enough I failed and instead I used a bit of the classified ads to hold back the ever expanding mess. Before cutting into another piece I contemplated the damage I had just done to the "Bridegrooms Wanted" section of the news paper:

RAJPUT:

Looking for smart Kashyap Rajput
boy for Rajput Kashayp girl 26/5'-2''
wheatish complexion, Amristsar preferred

Professionally qualified match for
Saini Sikh, slim, beautiful fair girl.
1978/5'-5'', PhD Lecturer

PHYSICALLY CHALLENGED:

Suitable match for 32/5'-2'' Gaur
Brahmin girl, Diploma (Library Science)
Diploma (Computer Application) & NNT
from Delhi, now teacher under Child
Welfare Council, slightly affected past
polio left side. Cast no bar.

WIDOW/DIVORCEE:

Suitable match for 27/5'-4''
beautiful woman having three months
daughter. Simple early marriage.

Match for fair beautiful Goyal
widow 25/5'-4'' having 4 years son.

Suitable match silm, fair, Arora girl
30/5'-4'' looks younger, early marriage

I bit into more of the mango and studiously ignored the fact that the newspaper's structural integrity had started to fail. My pants would soon begin to attract insects looking to dine on the same summer delicacy. My mind took a free stroll back in time:

Walking up to a temple outside of the hill town of Pelling in Sikkim Suzanne and I had fallen into conversation with a Jain couple recently moved back to India from their IT jobs in the U.S., "Oh no no." Shurti Jain's head bobbled from side to side as she spoke, "We were most certainly not wanting children grown up in two cultures. Now we are being back in India but Bangalore is being so hot now."

I asked, "Did you like the U.S.?" My curiosity on this point has never been satiated. Seeing my home through someone else's eyes tells me more than seeing it through my own.

"Oh so most certainly confusion for children." Shurti seemed to get stuck as if her time in the U.S. could not quite move her answer forward.

"You mean with things like dating and marriage?"

Poonit, Shurti's husband, pickup the conversation, "Dating." Here he interjected a shake of his head that spoke volumes about his ideas of his daughter going on 'Dates.'

"Was your marriage arranged?" I asked this question with a confidence that I did not feel. I had been asked this question on countless occasions. Often it has been the third question I am asked after, 'What is your good name?' and 'Which country?'

Shurti Jain relaxed, "Oh yes!" Then Shurti explain the great wisdom and experience her parents had brought to bear on the question of who her husband might be. Then she added, "But first I am meeting and liking him, then we are marrying"

As I recalled my conversation with Shurti and Poonit Jain I read the NRI (non resident Indians) section of the classifieds:

Sikh parents seeking suitable match
for their daughter, 25 years old, 5'-9''
born and raised in Canada, working as
first year Medical Resident Doctor...

Alliance invited for Australian
(Punjab born) 24 5'-3'' fair slim
good-looking Master in Accounts,
Punjabi Sikh Ramgarhia girl....
Boy should be settled or willing
to settle in Australia.

By this time I had managed to move all the mango pulp and 2/3 of the juice into my stomach. Though the newspaper had undoubtedly helped shelter my pants from the sticky onslaught I still had a dark stain in my lap more often seen on small children then on world weary travelers. Thunder cracked and the first few drops of rain added to my already wet pants. Soon a biblical delude would start and the wind machines would crank up an extra notch.

The article on the Hollywood Invasion seemed to be right about so much more than just the movies. Everything in India is more extravagant, intense, tragic and beautiful than anywhere else. Perhaps this is why I am still here almost six months after our plane first landed in Chennai.